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Rainbow

I prefer to get the negatives out of the way and then talk about the positives only because it makes me happy to think that after every negative comes a positive. Which happened on the journey with my Mum and me even though it was hard to believe let alone think at the time. So this blog post, the next chapter of MyMumAndMe will be quite hard to write. But it’s okay, because things are better now, Alhamdulilah.

So, with my Mum in hospital and Aunt and Uncle Jay living with us there were many ups and downs. Laughter and tears. I mean, the house isn’t the same when my Mum’s in the shower, it was even worse with her away from home for 2 months. Don’t get me wrong, we got along fine. Especially with Aunty Halima doing her utmost best to make us happy. We are forever grateful ❤️. We had some difficulties but with the power of Whatsapp we got there in the end with the help of my Mum from the other side. After all, she is the expert!

But sometimes, everything just began to get overwhelming. I cried a lot. I got emotional a lot and I was always so nervous when I heard the phone ring. Was it the nurse from the hospital? Is Mum okay? What did they say? I would instantly think the worst because I was so scared. I don’t really know what I was scared of now thinking of it, but I was SO scared. Scared of what ‘might’ happen. I guess my anxiety took over me. Nights weren’t even nights for me for it was at night I was most awake. Running away with my thoughts just trying to gather what was happening. It was all too quick.

I wasn’t the only one stressing out though. It was hard for my Nan and Grandad. To see their daughter in hospital. It was hard for Dad. To see his wife in hospital. Pacing back and forth during the night across the hallway to make sure we’re all sleeping well. It was hard for my Aunts and Uncles. To see their sister in hospital. It was hard for everyone. Shocking. And because it was all too much for everyone in so many different ways, everyone began to show it soon enough. Tensions were rising in the household and the rope that we all held onto to keep faith and be strong was tearing slowly.

We said things and did things towards each other that we didn’t really mean. But it was all out of anger. I understand that now. There’s something that happened with my Father and I that I don’t really feel comfortable talking about right now, maybe one day. But it’s in the past and it’s forgiven and forgotten but yet still is a shadow that creeps up behind me every now and then. It’s one of them things that is just the worst thing to say at that specific time and to be honest, it broke me. But my Father soon realised what he said and was sorry. Only my Aunt and Uncle Jay know about what really happened so only they will understand what I’m talking about when they read this.

But it made me stronger. Everything that happened with MyMumAndMe, made me stronger. It made me see life in a different way and understand things better. Be appreciative. The real world. Sometimes we just have to stay strong even though it’s the hardest thing and just carry on, because after every rainfall, comes a rainbow! (One of my favorite sayings 🙂 )

This specific negative, is what practically changed me. It hurt and really left a mark on me but it was all cool after a lovely tiramisu from the local cake shop just from the hospital. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger ey!

Blog General Lifestyle

Cambridge University

Cambridge? Yes, I, Milly Parvin, had the privilege to be a part of a weekend residential for young people at Clare College in Cambridge University. Before I start, may I just say I loved meeting all the lovely students who took part from another school, and also a big thank you to our leader Ben, who made every moment inspiring and entertaining. Humorous karaoke, whilst giving the answers of the music round at quiz night or taking us around Cambridge University showing us how University life really is. It is safe to say, my ideas, thoughts, superstitions of University were wiped away by the end of the weekend so much so, I am determined to work my way up to one day being a graduate of Cambridge University.

The weekend was very insightful with many tasks and talks to attend. They consisted of information about the transition from moving out of home to starting a new chapter in the community of University, to the information about what it takes to be Cambridge University potential! As my Aunt had assisted me on this residential, it gave her, as well as the other parents/guardians, a sense of contentment, as the residential taught all of us that University really isn’t as scary as it seems. Before this weekend I had this idea that University life was about studying, studying and even more studying! However, it’s quite the opposite. Yes, the workload is substantial, but Cambridge provides many society clubs from languages, drama to even rowing in the morning- meaning getting to see the sunrise, and we all know how much I adore watching the sky as it sets! Not only this but as students have to continuously study at the University in their designated College for an 8 week semester, they stay in an affordable apartment. Luckily, we stayed in Clare College on the Memorial Court, and it was absolutely beautiful! Cambridge is surrounded by nature and amazing architect that my Aunt and I just couldn’t stop taking pictures of, which made us feel like we were in a scene from Harry Potter! Of course, I have selected some images which you can find on my Instagram, so do have a look when you finish reading this!

Although Cambridge has many colleges within, I really had a soft spot for Clare College, even when we toured St Catherine’s. I guess whilst staying there, my “geeky” side had revealed its way out of me and I actually fell in love. The fact that Cambridge’s Central Library is at the doorstep of Clare College is what not only got me excited but my Aunt too! We were eager to go inside as the idea of having a copy of every single book in the world published inside that grand library, gave my Aunt and I a very exciting and jumpy feeling! Unfortunately we were not allowed in, however my Aunt and I shared the same stare. “Don’t worry Milly, when you’re here we can go in whenever we desire!”

In our free time my Aunt and I had the chance to go into Waterstones and purchase ‘The Forty Rules of Love’ by Elif Shafak which is absolutely amazing that a book review will be coming soon so look out for that, as well as the new issue of the ‘Writers’ Forum’ magazine, which I hope to be subscribed to very soon! Oh, and how can I forget to mention the bag that both my Aunt and I couldn’t help but purchase from a really cute shop in Cambridge market, titled ‘More Issues Than Vogue!’ Be sure to keep your eye out for it in the next photoshoot!

As you can see, my trip to Cambridge was very inspiring. We did so much and I even got the chance to speak to someone who studied English Literature, which is what I would love to do one day! Looking at the prospectus I am very happy with what the English Literature Course provides and now, it is my only goal. With the help of my Aunt of course!

Taking in the information that we learnt my Aunt and I are determined to get me onto the path of reaching Cambridge. So, I am glad to announce that I have taken on the challenge of ‘A Word A Week’ which is where my Aunt sends me one word and from that word I have to write an essay or poem in the limit she gives me (2 A4 pages/500-800 words for example) in the course of one week. This challenge will go on from now till A levels and shall teach me how to manage my time and become more independent, for the trip to Cambridge University had taught me that those skills were key to be a successful graduate of a University that holds its name as one of the top in the UK. Not only this but I will write and present a book review every month to gain skills such as confidence in public speaking and expanding my dictionary.

Blog Lifestyle

I’m Back!?

Heyy guyss Long time no talk, I know! But I’m here to explain, I promise. Wow, I don’t even know where to start, Imma be real with you guys, I’ve been through quite a lot recently.. So imma start from the beginning ?
As most of you may know during Ramadhan 2015 I was working very hard on my #myNAFSI project which consisted of each Surah in the Qur’an being turned into poetic form based on the theme of #NAFS #NAFSI. Alhamdulilah I had completed it the day before Eid! ? I was so proud of myself, but I couldn’t have done it without the help and support of my lovely family, friends and supporters, so thank you ?

I guess from that point things gradually started going downhill for me
My mum began to fall really ill and a lot happened, so much that to be honest with you, my faith and hope had crashed down immensely to the point where I didn’t want any contact with anyone at all, I just wanted my mum to be fixed ?. Long story short, my mum now, Alhamdulilah is on the mend and slowly coming back to be the lovely nagging 30 year old everyone knows her to be, our family’s very own mean, green, fighting machine❤️ so yeah, that’s mainly why I disappeared…

I just, ah, words cannot describe how I felt? they just can’t. To see my young mother unable to do what everyone else her age is doing, so weak and so tired, it got to me ?. But, I have learnt a lot from all this, about life, appreciation and most importantly the importance of a mother in a child’s life, in a mother and daughter relationship. And so I hope to InshaAllah, share my journey that I had in the last couple of months soon, so do look out for my #MumAndMe posts which will be coming shortly

As well as all that drama ? I had some hate coming along and just unnecessary drama in my social life, and so it lead to me feeling even worse and to be honest, I just couldn’t hack it anymore
Soo, why am I back?!
I don’t even know, but I’ll tell you one thing

Ever since I have stayed lowkey so many of you lovely supporters have told me to not give up and carry on with my writing because you enjoy it❤️ and to be honest I guess I’ve been hiding away because of the fear of haters ?

But, my lovely Aunt Halima! Oh my gosh I love her so much?. She told me exactly what I needed to hear a few weeks back that she’s always been saying to me from the beginning anyways, and ever since then has stuck to me.

It doesn’t matter what anyone says, she knows I have the potential to do well and she knows that people actually do read my work. See, my Aunt is a very honest person ? and she tells me ‘ if your work was rubbish do you think I’d help you in the first place’ and as much as that may sound harsh, it’s actually one of the biggest compliments I have ever got?❤️. And then ? many messages started coming up from many people saying not to give up and you know what, it was all an eye opener. I read every single message and I said to myself that I will not allow myself to give up as I know that I have the potential to bring something crazy to the table!
But why did it take so long?
Because I just couldn’t allow myself to focus because of worrying about my mum. To be honest, I wasn’t even planning to come back so soon anyways. But then ? my aunt told me how my mum was upset and thought I stopped writing because of her, and as my mum played a big role in my writing by proof reading it before posting anything up, it was a big shock to her as it was to anyone else
So ??? I guess I do know why I’m here after all,

This one’s for all you people that let haters get to you. You and me will work together and help one another to be the people that we wanna be! No one will get in our way??

This one’s for my Aunt, I know it took a lot of time to get me back here, but thank you for the nice but yet harsh words ??? it truly was an eye opener

This one’s for my Mum, we just gotta be strong and never lose faith in Allah, for He had the power to give the illness so He has the power to also take it away soon, InshaAllah. So really, I’m writing this one for you, Mum?. Know you can always stay proud of me and not worry about a single thing, other than getting better of course!?❤️ May Allah bless you with complete Shifa, Ameen x

This one’s for my real ones ? the people who stuck by me no matter what, who didn’t leave me when the others did and also to the most amazing people I have met during these hard months, I hope our friendship blossoms to be something incredible in the future InshaAllah?
From now on, I will not bottle things up, the pen and paper will do all the talking for me now, I promise ??
So you guys! Be sure to stay tuned, as I will slowly be uploading my #myNAFSI series onto here, and then starting my #MumAndMe as well as putting up any creative writing I come up with while my head is in the clouds ???

For any suggestions on what you’d like to see, please don’t hesitate to contact me via the comments below, Instagram or email me at muselimcom@gmail.com, and I will do my very best to get them done!
This one’s to a new beginning InshaAllah, may this be the start of something amazing☕️

Speak to you soon, InshaAllah
Much love and kisses,

Milly?✨

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